thanks love :)

thanks for today,

thanks for being my best friend,

thanks for those laughter,

thanks for the hugging,

thanks for being there for me,

thanks for being my listener,

thanks for the pizza treat XD

thanks for the love ♥

even we only spend time like few hours,

it's precious enough for me,

owh i really wish you can be there for me like you suppose to do saida,

but hey, we've learn something from being apart right?
learn how to be more independent and try to be comfort with our own surrounding,

bak kata kakak kau : biarlah apa orang nak kata, fikir belajar je :')
rindu lak kat dya.
tunggu dia balik jb lak nnty kita pergi puteri harbour tu k sayang :)
aku jnji aku bawak kau g sana .

take care of yourself,
study hard, promise me okay?
i will study hard too. :)

thanks girl friend. always love you. 
p/s: tunggu aku cuti panjang. nanti kita kuar lagi :')

ily

playing games with my brain

i'm playing games with my brain,

playing with my own emotion,

i might stuck giving hope to others.

it's not that i take the emotion of 'imy' in a serious way went i actually said it to a guy,

i don't know,

it's just , it's kind a words that i guess it's a 'friendly greet' 

a guy: hey babe, imy so much, how are you, bla bla bla

me: imyt? 

it's kind a friendly - missing - talk

not a serious - i want to be in a relationship with you - talk 

i just don't want to stuck in this innocent feelings,

like seriously, everyone need to move on when the time comes right? 

it's kinda lonely month for me,

i suck myself into a black hole,

this black hole is inside me,

eating me alive,

i kept denying to myself,

i said that i'm okay, i will be okay, i must be okay,

but these mindset of mine it's not going to make myself full recovery of being a sad person,

i mean, i felt myself like pathetic watching other people happiness and i look at myself,

what's wrong with me? 

i sit and stare myself in the mirror.

so i kinda plan to cancel my date with that guy tomorrow,

and hang out with my lovely Saidah Salim :')

insyaALLAH, kita jumpa pagi ni ye sayang . rindu ♥

p/s: line berukband mcm haram. lagilah guna luar sempadan. mcm siput vavi laju dia. 

owh, and Singapore just rawrrrkkk :)

fatty layer

some of my mum friends told me that i'm getting thinner!!!

LIKE SERIOUSLY ? -____-"

tengoklah pipi tu mak cik, dah tembam. haishhh.

ddk umah bertambahlah gemuk.

it's been a while

i cooked macaroni and cheese for dinner yesterday,

went out to meet some of my friends, 

drive both of my parents crazy,

sleep as early as 11 p.m, wake up either late or early, 

internet connection at home is awesome! downloading music like crazayyyy :)

how i can describe being at home,

the sanctuary being here is different than being at other place on the earth,

it's a lie if i told you home was okay,

but hey, it's my sanctuary, so i guess i need to deal with all those small matter :) 

actually, nothing much i can do in the house,

except repeating the same daily routine i had been doing for few days, pfft

something wrong with mom's car,

so i'm going to stuck at home for today,

not all my friends are back in JB yet,

some of them are busy with works and finals.

-_______-" 

i guess nothing change . home, just the same old, same old. 

owh yes, i'm addicted to this women, WHO IS SHE?

she has this face. i mean, i would like to stare at her all day long,

like seriously,

i watched her in few movies these past few days,

and i kept seeing her in a lot of them,

what is her name anyway?

she's gorgeous right?

so here's go to my heart,

just stand strong okay? :)

girls to tend sacrificing themselves for others,

why?

because they think that it's worth to sacrifice,

to show, how really that person meant to them,

but do you think it's worth it?

i'm stuck in my old relationship,

and i'm afraid to give commitment to others,

i'm afraid that i will hurt others feeling and give them fake hope or anything,

see, i have this own future of mine, that i need to focus on,

these dream life of mine need to wait,

is not that i'm going to stop dreaming or anything,

people, you can dream as many as you want,

but sometimes, some dreams do come true, and some don't ,

don't to rely on dreams okay, sometimes it might hurt yourself,

it's okay if you think life is a mess,

it's kinda step of learning more about yourself and life :)

 i'm a mess,  but that's okay :)

see what selena's said !

click zee picture !

till then :)

p/s: i'm hungry -___-"

i love my tumblr more than my facebook and blog. like seriously, if you want to read my mind, visit me here :)

dah smpai rumah johor dahh :)

actually, i'm in jb, not yet at home XD

i'm at mc donalds, waiting for my folks to pick me up,

and then we all , one family going to have dinner together,

yes! i am happy!

after a long, tired, exhausted, pain week in UKM and my life,

i'm  actually going to be at home for a week,

and spend some time with my family and few of my friend that are still in JB :)

life crisis and all will always be there,

those unstable emotion are going to mess up my head every day and night,

but hey, life move on, if it's not me, who is going to move it?

those insecure feelings , i need to hold it back,

not going to give them pull me into those black hole :')

HOME HOME HOMEEEE, nothing is more sweeter than being at home!

i need to stop eating those kind of food,

it's not healthy at all -___-"

p/s: kenapa lah pipi aku tu tembam sgt. 

WHO CARES! I'M AT HOME.

i'm going to finish all the food in the refrigerator. bahaaa. :) 

  

i'm going back home :)

packed all my stuff,

JB wait for me :)

so, i'm going back home, 

meet some of my friends, 

have fun doing nothing than watch TV, eat, sleep, hangout,

what teenagers like me love to do when their at home :)

happy one week holidays to all my fep friends,

good luck to whoever is still taking their examination

p/s: xanna, thanks for replying my inbox. 

i will try my best to stay strong :')

i'm not strong enough

i felt like screaming this to you,

near to your ears, and hope it strike your brain, 

straight to the nerve, so you can get mentally ill for what you had done to me.

i don't know, maybe you realize that you hurt me so much,

i was so stupid back then,

to kept hurting myself for you, do you want to know why the reason i did that?

at first i thought that if i make myself stupid,

sound pathetic,

you will appreciate me more, love me for who i am,

i did that all because of you,

i become stupid enough just to show that i care about you,

that i willing to do anything for you,

trust me, if you ask me to bend down to my knee and beg for you, i will actually, sound stupid huh?

i will do that all, because i love you,

but i guess, there's some kind of feelings,

the feelings of giving up,

not giving up my life, GIVING UP ON YOU.

all this time, this is how i fell.

i'm taking back all my words,

taking back all my promise for you,

i'm starting to hate you more and more,

not even a single sympathy for you my friend,

live your life now, you're free from my secure,

i guess i need to start forgetting you, and it's not worth it to fight for you,

because it never gave me any benefit.

i love you too much, and it hurts myself.

trust me, i'm going to stop worried about this,

because I've been blind by your love,

actually, it was never there for me. 

thank you for being in my life,

for making me happy once in my life,

for being there to make me laugh,

to make me felt secure even there're nothing between us,

to actually care about me,

and eventually i know the truth,

that hopes and dreams for you, for us, we never there. 

thank you.

i never want this to happen, 

you know right,

if i don't mention it to you, 

deep inside your heart, 

that this is not i ever want to happen,

leaving you , hating you, was the last thing i want to do,

it's just the time to actually give up is here,

it had been years I've been holding on to this feelings.

i'm taking a deep breath and say to myself,

i need to let go, i must let you go.

you used to ask me once about this,

what does true love means :

i sit down on my bed, hugging it tight, so hard because you once said:

sayang dia macam you sayang i tau, sampai tua. 

i know that i loose you years ago,

i never get the chance to make things right,

i'm sorry for not being the best that you want.

as long i have these memories of us in my mind,

every single of it, 

i will never ever forget you.

and i promise, just this one that i will hold until forever:

as long as i'm alive, i will hold these memories of us close to my heart

i cry hard tonight, just flashing through my life,

what's going on to me, why is this happening to me. 

i hug myself tight, 

it's okay fatin, life hard. 

i always want to be happy. everyone does.

everything happen for a reason. so be strong

“Don’t be sad, Allah is with us” [9:40]

insyaALLAH :')

finals over :)

ALHAMDULLULAH * sujud syukur,

I've successfully finished taking all my final paper for two weeks for this semester :')

no promises or anything, but i guess i worked harder than i did before actually,

and i;m really looking forward to get better grade than last semester,

to tell the truth, i really put a very high hope on this, 

it's my first time gaining pointer below 3 in my whole damn life, -___-"

and i pray so hard that this time result will be much better, and turn out just like what i hope for :')

SO PEOPLE, I'M FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! 

FREE FROM EXAM, FREE FROM STUDY PRESSURE,

GRADUATED MY FIRST YEAR IN UKM! I SURVIVE! WOHHOH!

but wait, SHORT SEM LAH PULAK. HADOYAI. 

-______________________-"

owh, just so you know, i guess nobody cares actually,

i'm joining what it's call 

MAJALAH UNIVERSITI KEBANGSAAN MALAYSIA (MAJALAH ASPIRASI) EDISI KE-34

so i will be taking my 3rd year semester for two month while working on this UKM magazine production. 

hope i can work hard for this, i mean, we all been paid for this, 

so i need to be responsible for this job :) insyaALLAH, everything will be fine.

i'm responsible under the graphic department. 

praying everything just to be okay,

and i really looking forward to gain a lot of experience from this, 

and have fun for sure :)

going back home tomorrow, happy holidays people :)

night

i'm not in a stable condition to. but hey, i'm tired of this stupid feelings. i'm having my last paper today and i'm going to sleep. and i don't mind if i cry myself to sleep, because i know i will be okay. i'm tired, exhausted and in pain. but life must go on.

night everyone, wish me luck for tomorrow last paper. 

i cry because i miss you, it takes me few minutes to search for my older post for this,

i miss you :'(

h.e

sumpah dah nak muntah belajar etnik ni. urghhhhh

i don't really think that we need sit for the final for this subject,

nonsense lah!

maybe you can grade our final by giving us more assignment and group activities or whatever,

but sit for an exam for this subject? i really think this is not necessary!

sakit kepala aku tau, dah tak tau macamna nak masuk lagi. 

i felt like this subject is harder than my statistic paper, just sucks.

but i guess i can't do anything than just sitting on my bed or wherever i am and start digesting all of this etnik stuff.

 i'm not really looking forward to meet this paper again in my life,

not even close to reading subject especially it involve history or WHATEVER.

owh, i'm looking forward to post a blog about something happen lately,

but i really need time for myself with this final paper for tomorrow,

so wait, trust me, it's hurting me since the day it's happening to me.

maybe i look fine, i sound find, the way i reacted to you,

you may seen that i may look okay, trust me, i'm not,

you yourself can figure it out, but you are too stupid to figure out yourself,

i'm nothing to you, and you're something for me,

 i guess i just can't be there for you anymore,

it hurts.

it's killing me

my last paper for this semester,

just waiting for the day to come kills me. pfft.

reading this subject is like reading history,

just by looking at my face show that i'm suck on this history subject,

that doesn't meant i'm looking forward to suck in this to. -______-"

i felt so lazy

mood : sangat malas, nak tido, lapar, x nak belajar

reality: i'm going to have my last paper on Monday and i don't felt like studying 

dreams: i really want to get A for this subject, go back to JB for holiday, and drive my parents nut!

more dreams: having a fantastic time with my bitches, drive mom's car, and just have fun for the 5 day of holidays.

what sucks: 5 days of holiday huh before i start my 3rd semester. grr 

and this random shit are happening in my life, just can't get a clue what i'm going to do with it, with these people, with my life.

i just hate my life sometimes. 

p/s: i'm just to excited to show all of you my new beanie but i really don't have the mood for myself.  

enjoy your weekends peeps :)

i need a lot of food to boost me up,

get me this, and i will marry you. XD

look awesome right. melts me now.

library

after a quite long day spending some private time for myself in the morning,

my roommate ask me to accompany her to study at the library just now. pfft

it was fun! like seriously, we went there to study,

end up we both study like a chapter,

and most of the time we we're laughing and smiling and watching at people around us,

precious moment :')

i can say this will be the last day me and her actually spend some quality time together,

i mean study together,

we both are going to sit separate room next semester :'(

i will make sure that she will be the only roommates that i ever had in UKM 

I LOVE YOU ROOMMATES :)

i'm going to date myself today :)

left me only one paper for this final exam,

so i guess before i finally go home and have enjoy some time in JB,

i went for a shopping later today,

i bought my self a BEANIE !

THE HAT THAT I'VE BEEN CRAVING FOR! weeeeeeeeeeee :P

like i said, i usually spend myself alone here in UKM, 

like ariff asked me yesterday, so boypreng ke?

haha, nope :)

i went for a movie, have a walk inside the mid valley and the gardens, MPH book stores, window shopping,

you know how girls shop and entertain themselves in a time like this :) 

this attracted me!

i swear that this playboy perfume smell so good!

if you buy a bottle of the perfume, you will get the car above!

okay i lie. haha XD

there's some promotion for this new brand of perfume from playboy product. 

the sale girls are so hot. they dress up as a bunny -____-"

playboy = bunny 

THE ROOMMATE 

it's not a "must go watch this movie" kinda thing,

i recommended you guys go and download this movie,

I've planned to watch never say never,

but i guess i'm going to watch it with my babes back in jb :) 

so as usual, MPH, HERE I COME :)

and i search for this !

arghhhhhhhhhhhh, justin *.*

I LOVE YOU. :')

this book is so inspiring,

mom, i need extra cash for this :P

JUSTIN BIEBER ONCE SAID :

i'm totally agree with you baby, ekh, bieber :P

takeaway MCD for myself and KFC for my roommates :)

and we ate together as soon as we i got back in UKM 

done! i get my entertainment at last. weeeee. and i'm so happy :)

looking forward to do this again maybe in the middle of my 3rd semester classes on holiday.

heading to the library, last paper awaits me. 

picture quota exceed? -____-"

i felt like want to change something about my blog,

maybe change picture layout or anything,

suddenly when i want to actually post a picture for my layout, 

it came out like this:

PICTURE QUOTA EXCEED? 

what is that, please someone explain it to me. -_____-"

and now i can't change my profile picture, can't change my banner, can't put pictures for my layout.

how it's this happening?

i don't remember about blog have this quota picture rules or anything. urghhhh.

be grateful

nampak happy tak? nampak tak? HAHAH

seems that few post behind me, i was to emotional with a lot of stuff,

maybe because of my PMS moment, my bad :)

so here it is, 

haaa, i guess my blog really is all about my heart feelings huh?

kinda bored don't you think?

seems like nothing fun happen for me this few days,

it had been weeks my exam had started,

so nothing fun to do than studying, being emotional . and there's nothing fun to share with,

i'm not the type of blogger who left their blog a very long time because of their busy life,

no heart feelings, but blame me for fulling your dashboard with my post XD

it's just that i must actually post a blog, check my facebook and twitter account, reblog tumblr, just anything,

it felt like i must complete my day with all of this. haha.

wait until i'm having my short sem, owhh, by that time, i will like post a blog once a week maybe? 

or the vice versa, posting blog every half and our? pfft.

wait and see. :)

motivation time :) 

to tell the truth, i'ts not that sad to be lonely,

sometimes , i felt i'm grateful for being alone, 

but hey, everyone need partners, i guys i just need to wait my turn, sound desperate huh? haha

bukan tak laku k, if i want a boyfriend, trust me, suddenly my single status in facebook can change to in a relationship -_____-" 

it's just i'm not ready for any commitment, my life are suck, so i'm not sucking out the happiness of the guy that is going to be with me. haha

i'm fighting for my own safe zone here, 

safe zone as if, a feelings of secure and stable,

it's life people, we just can't run from problems, it's like a daily routine for us, duhh

so fight! don't let it haunt you like it did to me few days before,

FIGHT! fight for you're own happiness

you won't loose a thing if you fight for yourself,

don't stop, because once you stop, you will fall down hard,

and you need a very strong feet and hard to stand back up and fight,

life hard, sometimes people said it's easy, like a piece of cake, 

buy a huge cake, take that cake and smash that cake on the face of the person who told you that 

-_______-"

that's in fairytale people, those happy endings, falling in love and suddenly something bad happen, bla bla bla,

you know how fairy tales end,

THAT IS FOR FAIRY TALES, 

for us in REAL WORLD, life bleeds!

to mr "who do you thing you can do whatever you want to my life"

i'm doing this to myself.

today i will be having my 2nd last paper,

Academic Communication,

and English subject,

please pray that tomorrow the weather will be okay,

i need to get some entertainment for myself ! badly! urghhhh

now i'm happy, but one thing that can make me felt sad so bad is :

have a great life everyone, don't felt down about yourself,

all of you own a great life in your own way,

all of us have problems that we all need to deal with,

so fight, and don't give up :)

WISH ME LUCK FOR MY PAPER TODAY AT 3.30 P.M :)

rindu :')

he does remind me a lot of memories,

muadz hamzah,

i just can't believe that we can be friend until now,

how we meet each other, 

how you actually approach me,

and guess what, i'm still in love with your green scooter you know :)

it's okay for what had happen to you,

trust me, there is always a reason why you actually lost the person you love.

you deserve someone much better.

i miss you. 

wait until i come back to jb for a shot holiday okay?

Justin In KL

OMGLEEEEEEEE!

JUSTIN IN KL ALREADY. 

yes, because his visiting me in UKM, yeay. HAHAH.

nahhh, his doing a concert tomorrow people.

who's going? not me. haha. 

i'm still in the middle of my examination week, tell me how i can skip my final and go to the concert? tell me!

i'm not JB fanatic fan fyi. fuhh. 

click click.

ow, btw, you're too late to buy the ticket if you tend to go to his concert.

I LOVE YOU JUSTIN. haha.

 i just love your voice so much,

maybe you have this unique kinda girl voice,

that some of the people out there don't really like about it,

but it's okay for me,

like seriously, the first time i hear you voice,

i thought you are a girl. -_____-" sorry.

and you're in love with Selena Gomez! awesomeee!

why you didn;t bring her along to Malaysia dude! hahaha

you both are so cute together,

you guys got my bless. HAHA.

stay in love which each other please,

don't be like Vanessa and Zac Efron  :'(

WHY DID YOU GUYS BREAK UP? WHYYYYY.

ok, bukan jodoh la kot. :'(

once said :

to whoever going to the JB concert, have fun,

kiss JB sexy lips for me will you. BAHAA XD